Happy New Year.
I bet the coming year will be just like the years before it. You will never change.
If once you were traumatized with me quitting college, I’m traumatized with you and the whole of it. So much that I want to change my citizenship just so I don’t have to belong in the same country with you.
If apologizing is not your idea then give back the time I could have had back then so I can spend it with my sickly grandma who has been wanting to see me.
Give back the people I have lost so I can be nicer to them while they’re still alive.
Make all the lies untold so I can cherish the good memories of my childhood.
If you can’t, then you’re the one who should rot in hell, not me.
Mom, if you can, please stop talking to my in laws like nothing happened.
That’s really rude since you have done so much to hurt their feelings on purpose, insulting their kids and their grandkids. You basically just told us to rot in hell, remember?
Have you no shame at all?
Do you know that it hurts to see your name showing up in my documents or bank statements? I can’t even bear looking at your pictures when you were young because that’s the age where you started to brainwash your kids and taught us bullshit about others.
I wish you know how it actually feels, lying to your own children when they were still just kids.
As a mother myself, I can’t even imagine how they would feel if one day they find out that I’ve been bullshitting about others and make them hate one another.
No.. it is not a good feeling at all, growing up holding grudges against my siblings, grandparents and my own father.
I was wondering whether you remember that in year 1993 or 1992, you gave me a diary with papers that were scented with rose petals. You told me I could write in it, whatever that was in my mind, no matter how ugly or horrible it was.
You told me nobody would read my diary.
One day you got so mad over something that I wrote (I didn’t accuse you of reading my diary, but I thought you were really good at guessing) so I decided to discard the diary and never write anything anywhere anymore.
Then, you asked, “Where’s your diary?”
I said I misplaced it somewhere. That was probably one of my first lies.
Do you know that your granddaughter is always asking about you?
I’m sorry but I’m not good with lies. I have to repeatedly tell her that you can’t be trusted.
I have to show her again and again, the texts you sent to her, telling her that we’re bad parents, that we are supposed to rot in hell.
She just doesn’t understand how can a person do something like that. In her pure mind, people are always nice to one another.
You just wished that I’d be dead in childbirth, because you didn’t like the life that I’m having.
I will, one day, show that text to her, as soon as she can read well.
No, I just can’t tell lies, unlike you.
When you read this, don’t take my vulgar words as a sign that I’m angry or upset. I’m actually calm.. so calm that I’ve finally chosen to let it go.
I’m glad to know that at least I’ve raised my kids well. Unlike you, I don’t make the sisters hate each other, and hate their father too so they both can, instead, love me alone.
One of them could be dyslexic but I know she can be fixed while she’s still a child.. rather than corrupting her until she reaches an age in her 30s to realize her mom made no effort to provide the best childhood she could have.
Or, until she gets old enough to understand that a family shouldn’t be this way. Or, until she becomes a mother herself to discover that you actually have never been there.
I will tell her that it’s okay to be different than the rest, things will be fine and she’s not a freak. She doesn’t have to feel the pressure of having to fulfill her parents’ expectations.
She shouldn’t be worried about people judging her or that she must always show a good example to her younger sister, even if it means she cannot be herself.
It’s okay if she’s not that pretty, I will always tell how pretty she is. If she does grow up to be pretty then I’ll just be happy for her. I won’t scare her with those tales of being pretty will only attract perverts and I won’t tell her not to be a bitch, because she won’t.
She will become a fine, good natured lady that is loved and respected by everyone.
Just so you know, I’m quite aware that you’ve been stalking me using your fake accounts on Facebook, probably one of your desperate attempts to keep yourself updated with the most recent stories of your granddaughters; maybe even snatch a few of their latest photos.
Oh, but since you mistakenly had my brother (who is in my friends list) in your friends list as well, with the list itself shown to public, I couldn’t help it but to block each one of the suspicious profiles in there, including yours.
Try again next time.
It’s just sad to see you having to stalk your own daughter when all you need to do is being honest when answering my questions.
Face me when you know you can tell the truth because I’m all exhausted with your bullshit.